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Sunday, August 31, 2008

I'm bored... REALLY bored...

Finally went to the library After how many months... and borrowed 4 books and I finished reading 3 of them :) I miss my Syafiqah Bookworm :) The story is nice. I almost cried while reading the last book coz Simon died and Jenna was like begging him not to go. I can picture it in my mind :) She's the Daughter of Destiny :)

Now I malas to read the last book coz it doesn't look interesting... Haha.

Walau, I miss Maggie.... Haha. Really!! I MISS MY GIANT NIPPLE!!!

Haha. Currently getting some songs. Hehe.

Haiz... Currently working on my one-shot story and it's not as easy as I had imagined it to be. I kept changing the plot and guess what?? I have a backup plot!! just in case the story not nice :)

Kk. Haha.

Hmmm... I thought alot about what I wanted last time. Haha.

I remembered all thos desires...

The lip piercing :)
The Boy :)
The Popularity :)
The looks :)
The eye-catcher :)

All those stupid desires are not in me anymore becoz I'm happy with what I am and who I wanna be :)

I just wanna be happy, care-free and ME.

I admit.

I'm going to be direct here. I don't care if I hurt anyone's feelings. I don't care if I'm being insensitive now becoz I'm lying to myself and I'm sick of doing that.

I have not been me. I admit that about 98% of the time, I'm not myself because I'm always making sure that I put everyone else that I love before me, trying to help them and trying my best to not hurt their feelings.

I wanna thank Faiziyyah for making that stupid game up becoz now I know that I'm in despair.

I got to chat with my darker side and it made sense.

I mean, I'm stupid aren't I?

I keep saying sorry even if it wasn't my fault and it hit me a long time ago when I said SORRY to Faiziyyah but there was this voice that kept telling me...

Why are you saying Sorry to her? You didn't hurt her. She hurt you so why are you saying Sorry? Why are you being weak? Why do you always let others take you for granted? You wanna know why she didn't say sorry? It's because she knows that you'll say sorry instead. You are stupid and arrogant. You always wanted to be the friend that everyone dreamt of but it is worth to be the friend and lose yourself?

I ignored that voice until last Friday.

I didn't want to take the MRT nor did I want to atke 178 or 66 becoz I wanted to be alone.

I'm angry, I'm sad and I'm in denial.

Well, Faiziyyah will never understand because she never understands me. Let me stress on the word NEVER.

And I know she, wait nein, I know you will be angry when you see this but as I say, this blog is mine and I pour everything out here.

You once told me that you wanted me to be direct to you so I did. I changed my ways and became direct to you. Even when I tease you, I was being direct. Isn't that what you wanted from me? A direct answer straight from my mouth instead of talking around the bush? I change for you and you didn't notice that becoz you were caught up with your own wants, needs, problem etc.

And now I'm being called INSENSITIVE.

I don't know what you want from me. I became direct and now I'm the insensitive BITCH.

Guess what?

I'm glad we went out last Friday becoz now, I can curse all I want and will not have to see all of your faces for 1 week.

And when you see me after one week of break, I'm not going to be that nice Syafiqah.

I'm sick of not being able to be myself because I must take care of other people's feelings.

Did anyone cared when they hurt MY feelings? No.

They only ones who seems to really care is Irfaniah becoz you want to know why? She can read me like an open book and I thank her for that. Diana too coz she sits and listens to my problems.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm burdening them with all my complains and problems and I don't know how to say that I'm sorry for pulling them into my pool of sorrows so now I wanna apologise to the both of you if I had burden you in anyway.

If everything I'm being is wrong, then I guess the best thing for me is to be ignorant.

I'm not going to care, I'm not going to comment about anything and I'm not going to give a fuck about what is going to happen to the Bladders Workforce becoz you wanna know something rite now?

I feel so fucked up that I want to leave the workforce and live on my own.

Bt I didn't coz you know why, I care about all my Bladders but you wouldn't notice that anyway becoz I'm an insentive bitch who always picks on you, tease you blah blah blah shit shit shit cow cow cow pig pig pig and it goes on...

Whatever. This is my goodbye fucked up life at school for one week :) Tata :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
2:33 PM

Friday, August 29, 2008

Sometimes I wonder if what I am today is what I wanted to be 3 years ago...

Ok. Let's not get started on what's going on with the sentence or I'll be called the insensitive bitch. Duh...

My day din started out great. Bus broke down and some random shitty things just happen.

Then concert was great. Abit of tech probs here and there but Ariffin's band rite, the guy playing the red guitar was fudging off like CWAZY!! And Zul Husni was playing my guitar as Bass Hehe. I'm so proud of my guitar :) I know it was abit nervous when it accidentally terlepaskan it's strap

The rest was ok. I'll put up the vid when I got mood to upload the vids.

3E5 won the captain's ball match :)

Finally played my guitar just now and it was really good especially Ich Bin Nicht Ich. It sounded more defined and not so sandish after I played the notes the proper way Thx to my teacher :). Played Spring Nicht and it was GAIL! Haha. Only need to figure out the part after the bridge just before the final chorus :)

Haiz... I think I go like type out my one-shot story :) It goes out to crazy Tom lover, Kak Nadhirah Natalia. I hope you enjoy this little intro coz I'm bored and I don't know what to type anymore :)

Yes, I'm just writting the first part :) I hope it's good coz the one-shot stories at Quizila are AMAZING!!

Just tell me what you guys think :) Danke liebes :)

Komm und rette mich...
Ich verbrenne innerlich...
Komm und rette mich...
Ich schaff’s nicht ohne dich...
Komm und rette mich...
Rette mich...
Rette mich...

Rette Mich. A ballad that depicts a million words in less than four minutes.

I don't actually understand what Bill is trying to say in this song until one faithful incident made me understand the true colors of the mysterious song... Rette Mich.

My life that was once full of life, light and happiness are now just mere fragments of my past. I'm numb. I'm cold. I'm alone in the dark, waiting for someone to come and Rescue Me...

No one knew about the silent pain that I went through except for Bill and I admire him for trying his best not to hurt my feelings.

Most might say, how could I, famous rockstar, Tom Kaulitz, be feeling numb, sad and alone when I have everything from money, fans, girls and all the sex that I want? The Tom Kaulitz that they know is fun, lovable, crazy and sexy. The Tom Kaulitz that they craze for loves having one-night stands so how could he be feeling sad, alone and miserable?

Maybe it's because I finally knew what it feels like to watch someone go and leave you alone to drown in your own sorrows.

Sky Shae. A name that will forever scar my heart.

I met Sky five years ago, in a club.

I could remember every detail about her when she first caught my eyes, standing not to far away from me.

Her green eyes, her black hair and her lucious red lips were as sinful as they are heavenly.

It started out harmless with a simple smile. It then became flirting before a heavy make-out session took place at the alley behind the club and finally, a mark at the hotel bedroom.

A typical one-night stand but it wasn't just any normal one-night stand when I saw her leave in the morning because the word 'lover' was lingering in my mind.

Soon, we started seeing each other more frequently, mostly for sex but it came to a point where it wasn't about sex anymore. It was more about how we felt towards each other.

I never dream of hearing her say that she likes me.

By the end of the year, we were officially together.

I never felt so happy in my whole entire life before because Sky loved me for who I am and not for who I was, which is a famous rockstar. Unlike the other girls that 'loved' me, Sky treated me normally, giving me a chance to live a normal life like any other ordinary kids.

It was a fairytale at that time but it became an awful nightmare when she left...

I hope that it wasn't too sexish becoz I was really trying very hard to depict what Tom is like. It's easier to do a Bill story becoz Bill is not as hardcore sex as Tom so yeah.

Haiz... Currently uploading the vids for Suchi coz Shannon bugging her so yeah. I'll post it up when it's done:)

Ouh and tell me what you think of the story :) Danke :)

Shannon! Here's your vid! I haven upload the rest yet coz I'm having flu and I'm very not in the mood to upload more vids so here ya go :) You were great :)

-----

Changed my song to Rette Mich. been listening to it the whole day. I can understand the song today Weird... I think it's becoz of the lots of shit happening so yeah. Wadeva... Haiz... Nacht :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
9:11 PM

Thursday, August 28, 2008

School was.... Uh... Cant remember but my Maggie Nah giant nipples din come to school today!!! She fell and hurt her leg and butt awww... but I really hope she's ok :)

Um...... I really dun noe wad to type actually but I wanna say that I cant wait for tmrw but Ms Dianah said we ending at 3pm so I was like what the fudge? Learnt that from Ritinne :)

Haiz... Then after that going eat with Bladders but not sure going where. Haha. Typical Bladder Workforce :)

Uh... I think I better go update my story hor. Haha. I keep saying that but I nvr update :)

AND MY GUITAR'S PERFORMING TMRW!! WEE DUU!!! GO ARRIFIN'S BAND :)!!!

Kk. Nacht :) No, I mean Guten Abend :)

Ouh and I got back my CA2 result slip and I have to say. I'm VERY dissapointed with my marks. Very very dissapointed. I've worked hard but not hard enough. Haiz... Must really buck up for SA2. Haiz....

English- 68.0
Malay - 73.9
Maths - 59.6
Biology - 50.0
Combine Science - 46.7
Combine Humanities - 82.3
Geography - 72.3

I don't think that the best I've produce but I really like my Humans score :0 I've work really hard on that subjuect :) Haiz. Must work hard nxt time. Must not let Bill and Tom down :) Must don't give up :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
7:32 PM

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Din go to school today coz having menstural cramp. Not exactly in a good mood coz now I might not able to sambut Puase and I'm like wth??

Quite gald that I din got to school today.

Firstly, I don't get to see Cheekeh and that I don't get to see Caleb's Irritating Bastard Arrogant's face.

Tok big but no shit. Like WTH.

I play drums for 6 six years. Let's play Bring Me To Life coz I know how to play that song very well. Eh, if we go jam later right, you don't waste time hor.

Like me? Wasting time?? Hello?? Haiz...

I'm kinda pissed alot yesterday. Really and I DON'T think it's the stupid hormones ah.

OMG!! RAY GOT MARRIED!!!! HAHA. FINALLY! eVERYONE IN THE BAND GOT MARRIED except for Bob OMG!! RAY GOT MARRIED!! CONGRATS!!!

Ok. Wow. Haha. Gail. He got married to Christina I suppose coz she is his long-term girlfriend :) I'm soooo happy for him and Gerard and Mikey and Frank.

Haha. I still remember those days where I was in love with Gerard and sometime I even fought with myself who I love more, Frank or Gerard but ow I'm in love with Bill. Haha.

Can't wait till I hear Bob gets married :)

Currenlt listening to songs from Pencey Prep. I miss listening to those guys :) Haha. Cant wait for MCR's and TH's new album and I saw TH this morning at TRL. Gonna beg my mum to record TH again tmrw :)

Haha. Kk. I changed my song to 19 by Pencey Prep. Their nicest song so far in my POV along side Attention Reader bt Attention Reader is more to screaming.

I still remember the bladders making fun of the song 19. What 1am lah, 2am lah. Haha. Whatever bladders :) I still love Pencey Prep :P

Kk. I think I better go. Haha. Cya tmrw at school :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
2:21 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

This is pretty much what we did for Malay coz got FREE period. Haha.

Just came back from downstairs just now. Arifin and Zul Husni It took me 20 mins to realize what is his real name becoz I always hear people calling him Yuni/Uni came to borrow guitar. Haha. They disturbed me from my beautiful slumber man!! Haha.

I'm also surprised that my dad allowed me to lend my electric guitar to someone. Haha.

Let's pray the guitar comes back one piece on Fri Not trying to say anything but ANYTHING can happen right?

Having flu right now. Had fun talking to Maggie inside 174 and I really wonder why Schi said choir SUCKS today. I've always thought that choir sucks but THAT word never comes out of Suchi's mouth. Haha

Haiz... I think I play game or read story or something. I really have no mood ah coz my stomach pain.

Can't wait for this Friday's Teachers Day!!! Firstly, half-day school. Secondly, the concert!! Thirdly, me and my friends hanging out together!!

And nein, I'm not going back to JYPS coz like for wad? There oso got no one mah. I think the only reason I want to go back is becoz of the food. Haha. I miss JYPS canteen food!!

Haha. KK. BYEZ!!

And watch this guy :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
10:40 PM

Monday, August 25, 2008

FINALLY! That's done. It took me like what? 2 hours to figure out how to resize it without using photobucket as it takes alot of time ah. So tried lots of stuff when finally I found the solution to my probs!! Wee duu!

Just now school was fun coz like have 2 hours of free period!! ~~Malay~~ and Bio. Fun ler. Haha

Then the best part was English and me and Brintha did this Botak Monk skit. We actually discussed to do something different but dunno how Botak Monk can come out from my mouth and the both of us started to improvise from there. Hehe.

WE WON!!!! Hehe.

Then me and the rest went to Mac for a while. Wanted to go to the library but tired so in the end never go. Haha.

Kk. Watch this girl. Don't care about her singing. I can sing that too Ceh ceh but observe how she scream. It's AMAZING and I wanna scream like that but the thing about her scream is that she's using her throat, so it's abit risky coz you can like lose you voice ah bt for her, she has vocal trainings so yeah. It's unlikely for her to lose her voice. Enjoy! I'm so gona download it and show it to Maggie tomorrow :)

Kk. Nacht:)

Es wird gesagt und getan
7:31 PM

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Ok. 2nd post and it's gonna be weird for you guys.

I was bored so I decided to go to Y8.com and play some games and I ended up playing this cool game.

Then I tried other similar games bt they suck like shit so I just wanna say... I'm proud of what I created and that I LOVE this game :)

Call me weird, retarded and guess what? I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!

BYEZ!!!!

Es wird gesagt und getan
3:10 PM

Lots of things happened yesterday. It was fun :)

First was the guitar lesson and it lasted for quite long and I was happy :)

Then it was the concert :) It was fun. Haha. And not to mention the HOT caucasian guy who played the violin elegantly with the chinese boy. Haha. N the pictures and getting lost and WTH!! Ms Seah coudln't even recognize me!!! They say I look VERY different with my eyeliner on!!! Haha.

Then came late to the kenduri and we only chatted for like for a while but hey, at least I get to see them :) The food was nice, especially the rice and Wak Paini's famous sambal goreng!! Haha. Then went home...

Thats pretty much my day :) Haiz... Dunno what to type now... Hmmm.... Nvm. I think I go update my story :) Haha. byez :)

Ouh and I'm in LOVE with Spring Nicht now. Haha. It rocks coz... I CAN PLAY IT NOW!!! WEE DUU!!

Es wird gesagt und getan
1:22 PM

Friday, August 22, 2008

School was pretty relax today. Not too stressful and I wasn't falling asleep in any classes at all.

Ouh and Brenda Koh tols Brintha not to trust Me and Diana coz it will trash their friendship. Okay... Am I suppose to say anything about this?? Haha. Nein. Of course you don't have to. I'll say it.

Haha. I mean it's funny becoz that is what she told me when I was ~~friends~~ wth her. Haha. Then yesterday she go use that cheap sentence to Brintha in front of Yin Hui sia. Haha.

I might be stupid, ok wait, I WAS stupid to believe her lies which almost killed my friendship with Diana but I'm GALD Brintha doesn't fall for her tricks man!! WOOHOO!!

I mean what kind of a friend Which is her, tells Brintha that she's her bestfriend then goes to Jin Shoon and tells him that Brintha is a liar? Haha. She even said that me and Diana are liars too but what do I care? Everyone lies don't they? Are you trying to tell me that you've NEVER lied before?? BULLSHIT I tell you.

Haha. What about the time you din bring your Geog file and I was absent from school? You literally took my file and cancelled MY name on the file and put yours on it. I mean WTH??

If you din bring your file, just admit it shit.

Okok. i can go on about tihs like FOREVER.

So I got back all of my commmon test including some test that weren't in CA2 and I think I did well overall :)

English - 19/25
Maths - 30/40
Malay - 35/50
Chem - 17/25
Physics - 11/25
SS - 10/13
History - 11/12
Geog - 19/25
Bio - 22/35

I guess that's all. Only failed my Physics :) And I got 2nd in class for Bio WEE DUU! Haha. Now I'm really motivated to study more :) Haha.

Now some vids of Kittie. They're GAIL man! Priya And that name unburies itself again... told me about it like 1 year ago but I forgot to check them out until like last week. I LOVE them!!! Even Maggie say they not bad :)

Haha. They damn chio lor now!!! Last time very the uh.... Nvm... Hehe.

Kittie - Never Again

Kittie - Witch Hunt

Kittie - Funeral For Yestreday

Kittie - Breathe

I think that's long enough. Haha. Maybe I get those songs above tomorrow ah. Haha.

Kk. I wanna update my story :)

Nacht aite ppl :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
8:50 PM

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Sent the document to Suchi oredi and I'm really tired.... As usual, checked my Quizilla and Spring][Nicht messaged me and I replied to her I wonder if she thinks I'm talking too much??

Actually was in the mood to update my story just now coz I just finished Chp 9 at choir just now.

Ouh and my dear cuzins, I'll not be going this Saturday as I have this choir event. Actually, I know about it since 2 months ago and even told my mum but I totally spaced out sia!!! Bt I really have to go as Mrs Kee is going to mark attendance personally there coz the school paid for the whole event. I heard it's expensive

Haiz... Nvm. I think I hold back Chp 9 first and start on Chp 10 tomorrow. I can't wait :)

Ouh and Maggie din come to school today... Very sad but haha. She bought NITENDO DS OK JUST NOW!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! She suddenly say she feels rich and just decides to buy Nitendo Ds. Haha.

Ouh and you know CME just now, Brenda Koh go throw tantrum at Brintha and she make it like SOOOO dramatic like we are the bad people like that. Let me tell you what telah happen aite :)

Ms Ng Soo Hua asked us, the group consisting of me, Diana, Brintha and Brenda Koh , to do evaluation. I've done it before at the beginning of the year and so did Brintha and Diana so we find it fair that Brenda Koh does it.

So I asked Brintha to ask Brenda Koh and Brenda Koh said that she DOESN'TTake note of the word want to do so me, Diana and Brintha took turns to do the evaluation.

Then, Brenda Koh suddenly asked Brintha what are we doing or something like that. So, Brintha Dass told her that we're doing that evaluation that she said she DOESN'T want to do.

Then she threw her tantrum by crushing up the paper like some "cheekeh" in front of Brintha and rolled her eyes before Emoing like a dead shit as if we're the ones that are in wrong.

Like HELLO??
Your head got circuit problem ah?? You said you din want to do the evaluation so we did it lah Aren't we nice... and you want to throw tantrum for what?

Crush up new paper then throw. Waste paper right? Might as well reuse the paper lah.

You think very easy to make paper ah? The trees take hundreds of years to grow and then got cut down in less than 5 mins and you are there throwing away paper. What kind of justice is this??

You like a not if you spent hundreds of years growing then I just cut you down in a matter of 5 mins?? Of you don't right? Then why you using the paper as a victim of your tantrumness??

You not happy then throw yourself or something. At least it doesn't harm mother nature...

Like don't you find it weird?? She say she din want to do the evaluation, so we did the evaluation and she's angry that we did the evaluation when she said she din want to do the evaluation. I mean WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??

Fick man!! Haiz... Tired oredi lah! I wanna sleep or at least eat first before I sleep.

And I also don't understand ah. I mean going to PSLE still don't want to study. Then when want to study? When you fail PSLE then kana stay back then you wanna study ah? If like that right, my water face like burst sia....

Es wird gesagt und getan
9:33 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I'M THE HAPPIEST WOMAN TODAY BECOZ SPRING][NICHT MESSAGED ME AGAIN AND IT WAS GAIL!!!!!!

Hehe. I'm elated :)

N Happy Belated burfdae to My Cute Bro, Haiqal and Maggie!!!! Wo Ai Nie!!!

Kk. On Monday celebrated my bro's burfdae and bought this cake. Nice but ok lh...

Kk. Just now, me, Diana and Maggie went studying at Macdonald after doing project :)

It was fun. We spent 1 hour eating, 1 hour studying and doing our homework and 0.5 hours of talking about ghost. Haha. FUN man!!! I would love to do it again :)

N now being left alone at home... WTH... And say what lah go for a while then come back... Yeah right... The for awhile right is like 3 hours lah please... Haiz. What to do.... This is what you get for being a 15 year old girl that has a 12 year old brother who's like a freak shit scaredy cat uh... WTH... No mood to update oredi lor...

Es wird gesagt und getan
8:24 PM

Monday, August 18, 2008

Din come to school today and I found out that I got ~~11/25~~ AU MEINEN GOD!! for physics common test and Diana said he was pissed of at us and called us dumb and stupid. Haha. Ok almost pass but WTH Ich liebe das phrase now coz of Mr Holt. Hehe

Din do much today but tried my guitar Finally! After 2 weeks! KEKOK seh!!! Haha. My bro say I play Black Parade very nice. Hehe.

Haiz... Really dissapointed with myself actually because I can't seem to be writting poems or songs like I used too...
But look on the bright side, you can write pretty well
True true but I miss writting songs and poems though...
Don't stress up to much. You'll het it back one day :)
Thanks myself :)
Don't mention it :)

Been writting alot this past few days. It's fun to write your own story. Hehe.

Maggie and Anira read an old draft for xDestiny That Awaitsx and that particular draft has a scene where Bill rapes Mazelina and they were like Eh, I read like really can imagine him raping her sia.

Me, Myself and I was also shocked when we read that. I was like I wrote this??

Haha.

Hmmm.... Dunno what to say...

Ouh I misss Priya alot. I guess there's no more Me and Her anymore. It's been a long time since we met, let alone talked... Haiz... As I said, friends come and go.

It's just numb to just not being friends all of sudden becoz of Insert reason if you have one and the sad thing is that I don't have a clue why the friendship just died.

Ouh ouh! LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!!! Haha.

Haiz... I wonder if she reads all the emails I gave her?? Bleh. She wouldn't check anyway...

I guess it's just best to forget her coz I'm SURE she has forgotten about me...

Bleh bluh blah bloh bluh bleh blih bloh bleh....

Es wird gesagt und getan
10:05 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I'm tired, I'm sick, my body's in pain and I'm not in the mood to talk HAPPY today.

So what if people don't say I'm pretty or beautiful?

So what if boys don't like me?

So what if I don't currently have a boyfriend?

You don't have one too so what makes you so different from me?

I don't mind not having a boyfriend becoz now, my life only revolves around Me, myself, my family, my friends, Tokio Hotel and Bill.

I'm NOT desperate to find a boyfriend unlike you.

I like being single. Wait, no. I LOVE being SINGLE!!!!!

And what's up with criticising people with long hair??

Seriously!!! Are you even from this planet?!?!

You keep saying things to Me, Myself and I about Me, Myself and I that degrades Me, Myself and I.

If you think that Me, Myself and I is the worst thing God has ever created, then so be it.

If you think you're better than Me, Myself and I, then so be it becoz you want to know WHY??

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME!!!!

You may be better at me in maths or in acadamic studies but I don't care.

I set my OWN goals and limitations, not you.

I'm proud for being who I am.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for getting 5th in class.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for being able to play the guitar.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for writting stories with efforts that didn't go to waste in the end.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for passing my CA2 Maths common test.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for not having a boyfriend.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for not living a luxury life.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for loving a wonderful, sweet guy named Bill Kaulitz.

I'm proud of Me, Myself and I for being called a cuckoo for loving a guy that I know I will NEVER be with.

You got a problem with that?

As I had said a million and one times...

Don't take anyone's shit because the best shit is always by you :)

I live by that motto and look at Me, Myself and I, we're HAPPY!!!!, unlike you, who's emoing like a piece of dead shit. Duh...

Before Me, Myself and I go off... There's a piece that I want to say...

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE MY LIFE SO THAT IT WILL BE TO YOUR LIKING AND GO CHANGE YOURS BECOZ IT CERTAINLY NEEDS SOME SHIT RIGHT NOW

Es wird gesagt und getan
1:11 PM

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I just don't get people sometimes.

What? You mean I can't hate people but you can?

If you can hate ***** then why can't I hate you??

You say I don't have the facts right but I don't think so.

And now you go to ******* sayin You know why we click so well? It's because we're bestfriends :).

You said that to *****, you said that to me and now you're saying it to her.

I can gurantee that you're gonna use it on ****** some time later :)

Don't you get tired of using the same catch phrase over and over again?

I admit that I regretted doing all those things to Diana and I've apologised to her becoz now my vison is clear now.

I really don't understand you, seriously.

Call me a bitch or tell everyone else about me and make me look bad.

I don't give a damn actually.

Es wird gesagt und getan
11:09 AM

Friday, August 15, 2008

Haha. Just now was DAMN hillarious!!!!

We were playing the swing rite, ok not we but me, Brintha and Aisha and I sat on the swing and started swinging then rite PRRRRREEEEKKKKK My skirt torn...

It was like FREAK!!!! Then we laugh laugh laugh and nasib baik Aisha ade safety pin seh!!! So Diana help me pin my skirt and I'm sure she got a good view of my butt You cheekeh pervert!!!

Haha. Notin much went on today but I was really looking forward to come to school and you wanna know why?? Becoz of MAGGIE!! Ok ok. I'm NOT obsess and I'm NOT a lesbian but Maggie is really nice and fun to talk to :)

Hmmm.... Wad else to say ah?? Kk. Byez!

Es wird gesagt und getan
2:50 PM

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Gail huh? She finally played Spring Nicht properly, well, not properly but PERFECTLY. I really envy her :)

Just finish being a technian woman just now. My mum bought this new TV stand which was so HEAVY and not to mention LONG and she din dare to move the TV and Home Theater coz she afraid she dunno how to fix back the wires.

So I came home and became a technician woman and set up the Dvd Player and TV things and it was GAIL but itchy coz ALOT of dust and my face is itchy rite now.

Ouh and SPRING][NICHT messaged me again and I love her!!!
This is what she write to me! It's such an honour!!!

Thanks. =]

I just read your update and laughed so hard when they farted. I guess some people do get a weird face when they try to get it out.

I found a few words missing. The only one that I can remember is: At least I'm dog, you're the Bitch. You forgot 'a' or 'the';; meh, it made me laugh.

Who is Eliza? I thought the girl's name is Emily;; unless I missed something?

Anyway, reading the name Eliza reminded me to start writing--well typing the next chapters to You Play Good.

Gail huh? I can't wait to update Chp 8!! I'm currently working on it :)

Ouh and just now, we got back our Maths common test and guess wad?? I FUCKING GOT 30/40 FOR IT AND I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY AND AFTER THAT I WAS SMILING FROM SCHOOL UNTIL RIGHT NOW AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROWS GEOG TEST EVEN THOUGH I STUDIED ABIT AND I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO READ SPRING][NICHT'S STORY AND I LIKE PINK WATCHES!!!!

Haha. That is called Runoff sentences! Maggie loves those. Haha. Kk. I wanna go read Ritienne's story :) Buaiz!!!

Es wird gesagt und getan
6:09 PM

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Not angry anymore. The pain subsided. But really bladders, I may be angry at you for some reason but I'll never do that to you forever. I just need a little space for myself, if you know what I mean. I NEED SOME AIR PEOPLE!!

Today I istened to Ich Bin Nicht Ich the whole day. It calmed me down even though the meaning of the song is I'm not me when you're not by my side, then I'm alone blah blah blah but the rhythm of the song just calms me down...

Haiz... Kk. I really dunno wad to say so yeah so I'm going to update my story, I mean in Wordpad before putting it on Quizilla. Kk. Byez :)

Haha. And I LOVE Maggie!! She's really nice! And she's just so comfortable to be with :) And she likes Rock music and that's cool rite?? Haha. I can't believe she's into like Rock/Hardcore music. I never expected her to be so GAIL :) Hehe. Ouh and her birthday coming and I was thinking of buying her present but what should I buy... Hmmmmm....

Es wird gesagt und getan
6:25 PM

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Listen, Cicak. I know that I have been avoiding you but this is going abit too far don't you think? We both have flaws and maybe it's best if we could erase that flaw. I admit that I'm sorry and I hope this song makes up for it. This is also for my bladders :) Remember, no matter how angry I am at you, I still love you till the end of time becoz you wanna know why? It is becoz you're my FUCKING bladders :)

Ok. It's not that good but I think it's not that bad either. Haha. Nutin much happened today except for common test oh and did you know that I passed my maths test for the first time thi term????

Gail huh? Then the common test right, I manage to do all the question sia. GAILLL!!

Haha. Kk. I wanna update :) It's the I could do after Ritienne I finally spelled her name correctly updated her Bill story which was freaking GAILLLLLL!!!!

Buaiz!!!

Ouh and watch this. This is really meaningful and sad :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
5:49 PM

Monday, August 11, 2008

I'm going to let the pictures do the TALKING :)

Hehe. I hope you enjoyed that :)

See you guys tmrw :)

And I really hope Ritienne will update her story. The suspends is KILLING me!!!

Es wird gesagt und getan
9:59 PM

Had massive headache yesterday at GayLang. My mum brought up this question Do u want to rebond ur hair? and I was pretty undecisive about it. I was like yes then no then yes then no then yes and then no again. Haha.

Having running nose right now Better go catch it and it's unpleasant judging that I'm going to meet Kak Nat later. Haiz. Haha.

Then this morning was gail :) I smsed Diana and kept asking her what was the price for Mcdonald's Student meal. Haha. Had fun with u Di, can't wait to see you tmrw :)

Ok... Currently checking the price for the student meal... Hmmmmm... Aiya. Don't have.... Ish ish ish.

Kk. Nvm. I think go update my story a little... Hehe. Kk.

Es wird gesagt und getan
10:35 AM

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I've never been so happy before. All these years, I've been writting, hoping to be like GothicPsycho or Spring][Nicht and I guess I am like them now. Well, at least that's what Rittiene said. Haha. She really likes my stories and I always open my Quizilla, hoping to see her emails to me :) They're encouraging :)

I'm going out with Kak Nat tomorrow. I miss her sooooo much. Haha. Going to Bras Basah Complex to repair my guitar and buy my Dad's gambus strings then maybe we go Bugis coz I want that TH tshirt so much. I can't wait to buy them all.

Haha. I dun noe wad to say animore.... Hmmmmm..... Errrr.... Maybe when I find something to talk about then I update again aite :)

Ouh and maybe not being able to be in a band now isn't so bad. I should consider being a writer but... Nah.... Haha :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
1:45 PM

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Au meine GOD!!!! SPRING][NICHT JUST MESSAGED ME AND SHE SAID SHE LIKED MY STORIES!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!! IS THIS A DREAM??? WAIT... *SLAP* OW.... OK. IT'S NOT A DREAM!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!! ITS SUCH AN HONOUR!!!! MY IDOL LIKING MY STORIES!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!

Watch her! She's AWESOME!!!

Ok so yesterday, my cuzin tunang. Haha. It was fun and I have to say that Kak Ira doesn't look like Kak Ira!!!! Haha. But before that was National Day celebrations at skool and haha it was fun but nervewrecking at the same time :)

haha. Kk. I wanna update my stories :)

Suchi, if you wanna read the stories then go to my Quizilla. You can click on the link at the left side of the screen. You just have to find the name syafiqah9622

And I agree with wad CS said on her blog.

I know I've never been frank to you bout some things but that's only because you're always being TOO sensitive. You always think that you're the ~~sensitive~~, ~~Emo~~, ~~whiny~~ and not to mention ~~MISERABLE~~ one in the group. I think that's the reason why I tembak you so much.

You don't really care about what the others are feeling becoz you only think that you are the only one that could cry.

You always say that you're left out and you complain about it like you're the only person on Earth that feels that way. I got really sick of it and I wanna say thanks for breaking my record of 7 months without tears becoz you wanna know why? I cried becoz of you but you wouldn't know aniwaes becoz you're the ONLY person in the group that can cry.

Now you resort to cutting yourself. Very "mature" I must say. When Irfaniah told me that, all I could say was Let her cut herself if she wants to. She chose to do it so let her do it.

I told you guys that people who cuts themselves are no friend of mine. If you want to take your life away, then go ahead. As CS said, if you wanna make your life tragic then go ahead becoz you're the main character in YOUR story and not MINE.

Im dissapointed in you, Faiziyyah. Maybe you should think over some stuffs rather than wasting your time with stupid penknifes or scissors that only leaves pathetic scars on you skin.

Es wird gesagt und getan
1:35 PM

Thursday, August 7, 2008

HOLY SHIT!!!! SPRING][NICHT FAVOURITED MY LETTER STORY!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! IT'S SUCH AN HONOUR TO HAVE ONE OF YOUR STORY BEING FAVOURITED BY YOUR FAVOURITE WRITER!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I'm really tired... REALLY. It's like I don't get enough sleep even when I sleep for 7 hours... Haiz... N tomorrow I must report to school by 6.30am... Shiete man....

I'm still ~~angry~~ though but I don't really care anymore. I'm just giving myself time to recover from my wounds so I don't give a FUCK if you people say I'm being unreasonable for giving ~~her~~ the silent treatment. It's good enough that I didn't scream at her face.

Haha. Watch this vid!! This is the 1st time I saw Gustav soooo hyped and singing too!!!

Kk. I think I better continue writting my story. I'm addicted to it now. Hehe. Byez :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
6:47 PM

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I'm ~~frustrated~~. I'm ~~angry~~ and I've cracked. I'm not ashamed to admit that tears finally flowed down my cheeks after 7 months of being stored.

I kept it for too long inside me and I guess it wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do coz now, I don't even feel like talking to anyone.

Danke Irfaniah for comforting me. I love you aite. I'm really sorry for the sniffing and weird crying sounds I made when we talked. I feel much better now after letting everything out but I'm still ~~frustrated~~ though but not that much now...

I never thought that I could crack. I thought I was strong enough to keep everything together but I guess I was wrong. I realise everyone has their limits and being sensitive is NOT one of them.

Maybe it's best that I just keep quiet until I feel better...

My eyes are swollen... Great...

Haiz... I think I better go to sleep now. Not really in the mood to type anything anymore...

And listening to Bill and Lost Prophets really helped...

And this guy here definitely made me feel stronger. Dankeshen Jeff Hardy becaue if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met Irfaniah and I wouldn't have learnt the true meaning of being strong. :)

Es wird gesagt und getan
10:05 PM

Monday, August 4, 2008

Warning! What you're about to see is the most fucked up but cutest thing I've ever seen in my whole entire 15 years and 14 days of living, including the time I'm in my mum's womb!

Cute right!!! Haha. I dance like that! Haha. Then I'm going to have fun IF I dance mit Bill!! Haha. So gail!! And he sang to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It'! Haha!! Ich liebe Bill fur immer!!!! Ich liebe die way he dance!!!!! And he realizes that he has to change for the show!!! Forgetful Bill!! Just like mich!!! Ceh, mcm betul je... Haha. Skali2 brangan tk pe lah eh :) Hehe.

Es wird gesagt und getan
9:17 PM

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Haha. I feel better today. Not really thinking about the accident anymore. Bt now I'm terrified of crossing the streets that has no traffic light!!! And I got terrified when my dad sped up the lorry just now!!! Pathetic huh? Haha.

Kk. Yesterday had fun mit Irfaniah!!! We went to bugis lah then to sommerset lh. Fun!!!! haha. Cant wait zu do das with du again!!! Haha

Nutin much though to say... Ummmmmmm.... I think I better go print Chapter 6 for Suchi, she's been dying to read Chp 6 but I got no time to post it or typr it sooooo DAH!!!!

Es wird gesagt und getan
9:46 PM

Friday, August 1, 2008

Today, I learnt that Death can strike you at anywhere and anytime.

Why did I say this so suddenly? You wanna know why? Because I saw a petite primary school girl being hit by a huge bus right in front of my eyes.

She ran infront of her school bus, which was not moving, and din bother to look if any cars/buses were moving beside the bus. She ran as fast as she could and what she did not realise that a fast moving bus was heading her way.

When I saw her runnning, my heart sank and drowned. I knew something bad would happen but not sure what it was.

Then, the bus hit her, and the sound was like nothing I've heard before. It was like bus tyres blowing up. I knew that it was a critical one.

I saw her shoes fly, one to the far right and the other to the far left from where she got hit. I saw her specs being flung from her face. Her bag was torn and her jacket was thrown out of her grip.

Bt the scary part was to see her FLY.

Yes. She flew. She landed at least 5 metres from where she was hit. It was as if she was a barbie doll that was thrown from a giant's hand.

I saw her, in a pool of blood, motionless and the first thing that came to my mind was What is the ambulance number? 911 or 991?

The chinese girl beside me, who also saw the accident was chanting shit all the way before calling up her mum, begging her to pick her up.

Her right side of the face was distorted, her uniform drenched in blood.

Her grandmother then came crying and shouting her name in her ear. She was motionless but there was hope when she moved. She even tried to get up and sit but to no avail.

It was the WORSE I've ever seen....

I was shocked Duh... but I din start trembling until the girl was rushed to the hospital. I was shivering like mad even though I wasn't shocked anymore. Scary huh?

You come back from a normal day at school. You just saw Louisse and Shannon having a dance off which was so damn cool and you board the bus, wanting to come home to drink water and you see this.

IT WAS HORRIBLE I TELL YOU!!!!

Haiz... But I'm ok now. I'm just worried about the girl. Wonder if her state is still critical.

She's like so petite ah. Then bus hit her summore. Walau....

I'm soooo going to be ~~emo~~ this past few days becoz I still can't believe that I almost saw someone die right in front of my eyes...

Es wird gesagt und getan
5:41 PM